American Retired Seniors

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took

• The melody out of music,
• The pride out of appearance,
• The courtesy out of driving,
• The romance out of love,
• The commitment out of marriage,
• The responsibility out of parenthood,
• The togetherness out of the family,
• The learning out of education,
• The service out of patriotism,
• The Golden Rule from rulers,
• The refinement out of language,
• The dedication out of employment,
• The prudence out of spending,
• The ambition out of achievement or
• Christ out of Christianity

And we are NOT the ones who eliminated patience, tolerance, or that ‘all men are created equal’ and ‘liberty and justice for all’ from families, personal relationships and interactions with others!

We do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country; all races, all creeds, all Americans and all immigrants for which we all are.

We support Social Security and Medicare in our golden years.

 YES, I’M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

• I’m the life of the party….. Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
• I’m very good at opening childproof caps….. With a hammer.
• I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
• I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.
• I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
• I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.
• I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
• Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Spread the laughter, share the cheer; let’s be happy while we’re here!

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By Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.

I’ve learned…..That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned…..That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned…..That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…..That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…..That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned…..That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…..That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…..That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…..That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.  

I’ve learned…..That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned…..That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…..That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned…..That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned….That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…..That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned…..That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned…..That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…..That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned….That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…..That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned….That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned…..That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned…..That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned…..That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned…..That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…..That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned….. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…..That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned…..That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

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“And no longer will this Nation refuse the hand of justice to those who have given a lifetime of service and wisdom and labor to the progress of this progressive country.” “Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, to thy needy, in thy land.” – President Lyndon B Johnson, 1965 upon the signing of Medicare bill.

For decades, American families have counted on LBJ’s basic promise that a secure retirement is the reward for a lifetime of labor.  There were no caveats, just people paying into a program that would benefit them when they retired; a program that would not bankrupt seniors, their children or their families. 

On April 15, 2011, Republicans and their Koch Brothers Corporate Tea Party power brokers, launched an all out attack on Seniors, women, the poor and children in America, seeking to deprive them of this basic life preserving benefit, as they voted almost unanimously to phase out Medicare and leave seniors entirely at the mercy of the large Wall Street health insurance companies.  Republicans also voted on keeping many of the Medicare cuts they once criticized.  As aptly written by Forbes, the GOP is launching a multi-pronged attack on Senior Citizens! Read more…

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Filed under: Medicare and Health Insurance

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, ‘While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.’

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TEXTING FOR SENIORS – (from my friend Sally)

If you are not a senior NOW, study well because you will be one in time!

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. Be sure to pass this on to your children and grandchildren so they can understand your texts.
         
       ATD: At The Doctor’s
         
       BFF: Best Friend Fainted
         
       BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
         
       BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
         
       CBM: Covered By Medicare
         
       CGU: Can’t get up  
         
       CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
         
       DWI: Driving While Incontinent
         
       FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
         
       FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
         
       FYI: Found Your Insulin
         
       GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
         
       GHA: Got Heartburn Again
         
       HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
         
       IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
         
       LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
         
       LOL: Living On Lipitor
         
       LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
         
       OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
         
       OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
         
       ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
         
       TTYL: Talk To You Louder
         
       WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
         
       WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
         
       WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
         
       WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
         
       GGLKI: (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

Seniors Remember:  Don’t Text and Drive!

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Perks of reaching 60 and heading towards 70 plus.

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 

03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask, “did I wake you?”

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 PM. 

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.     
  
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them
either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

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