American Retired Seniors

Getting older doesn’t mean losing your desire for sex or your need for affection and intimacy.

Your need for intimate physical and emotional connection is ageless. In fact, sharing your life in a fulfilling intimate relationship, which often includes a healthy sexual relationship, can have positive effects on virtually every aspect of your life, from physical health to self-esteem.  Fortunately, most people continue to have sexual fantasies and desires throughout their lives, usually well into their 80s and 90s.While senior sex at 60 or 70 may not be the same as it was when you were in your 20s or 30s, with a little extra attention and effort it can be as fulfilling and enjoyable as ever.

The key is to understand the age-related physical and psychological changes you and your partner are going through, and to make adjustments to help you accommodate and capitalize on those changes. That’s what makes senior sex better.

Testosterone is the magic hormone that regulates human sex drive. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a man or a woman; testosterone is the key.

Fortunately, most men and women continue to produce enough testosterone as they age to maintain their interest in senior sex. If you find yourself losing interest in sex, one of the first things to do is to have your health professional check your testosterone level.

At the same time, the aging process leads to other changes in your body that may make senior sex more challenging for you and your partner.

Instead of being the beginning of the end, these changes can give you both new reasons to talk about your changing needs and to explore new positions and techniques.

Age-related changes are different for men and women, and it is important for you to understand what you and your partner are experiencing:

If you are a woman, most age-related physical changes that affect female sexuality are linked in some way to menopause and reduced estrogen levels.

As you age, intercourse may become less comfortable or even painful. Your vagina loses elasticity as you age, which means it doesn’t stretch as far or as easily, and lubrication takes longer even when you are sexually aroused. Some women experience a burning sensation during intercourse or light vaginal bleeding afterward.

Longer foreplay may help stimulate your natural lubrication, and you can use a water-based personal lubricant to make up the difference. You may also want to talk to your health professional about estrogen cream, and estrogen ring, or another estrogen replacement therapy to improve your body’s hormone balance.

Actually, having intercourse regularly can help you maintain lubrication and elasticity. On the other hand, if you haven’t had intercourse for a while, it will take time to stretch your vagina enough to accommodate a penis comfortably.

Talk to your partner about what you’re experiencing, and take it slow to enhance your arousal and to minimize your discomfort.

If you are a man, it may take you longer to achieve an erection as you get older. In addition, your erections may not be as firm or last as long as they did when you were younger. Aging also will lengthen your time between possible ejaculations.

Talk frankly with your partner, and try different positions that may make inserting your penis easier and more enjoyable for both of you.

You should also talk to your doctor or health professional if you’re having trouble with impotence, maintaining an erection or reaching orgasm.

You may require medication that can help you achieve and maintain an erection. In some cases, vascular surgery, penile vacuum pumps or other therapies may be advised.

Maintaining a healthy sex life into the senior years is a matter of mental as well as physical health.

Stress, anxiety, depression can affect your interest in sex and your ability to become aroused as surely as reduced hormone levels or other physical changes.

As you notice more wrinkles and gray hair, as your love handles grow and you see more cellulite, you may become embarrassed about your appearance and feel less attractive to your partner. These feelings can make senior sex less appealing and can cause you or your partner to become less interested in sex. In addition, retirement and other major life change may leave you feeling temporarily uncertain about your sense of purpose, which can undermine your self-esteem.

All of these psychological changes can lower your interest in sex, make it harder to become aroused, and even interfere with your ability to connect emotionally with your partner.

In senior sex, the stress of worrying about how you will perform, or whether you are worthy of sexual attention from your partner, can lead to impotence in men and lack of arousal or orgasm in women.

The best antidote to these problems is open communication with your partner.

Explain the anxieties you are feeling, ask for and accept reassurance, and take things slowly to avoid performance pressure.

Not every sexual problem is specifically age-related.

Some medical problems, and their treatments, can interfere with how you respond sexually to another person.

Chronic pain, surgery, or an illness that causes severe fatigue can make sex challenging or painful. For more information on this, see Chronic Pain and Sexuality.

Drugs that control high blood pressure can reduce a senior’s sexual desire, and may lessen lubrication in women or make it hard for men to achieve and maintain an erection. Some other medications may affect senior sex. Antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs have been known to cause sexual problems in some people.

Always ask your doctor or health professional how your medical conditions, medications, and herbal remedies will affect your sexual desire and functionality.

Find out what you can do to keep your medications from affecting your sexuality, or to keep those problems to a minimum.

Note: For simple steps that can improve your sex life, see 6 Steps To Better Senior Sex.

Filed under: Social Seniors